Chloe

This post was written by Chloe’s a letter to her depression. So often we focus solely on the negative aspects of mental health and whilst there are so many, it’s often nice to remember what it’s taught us. This is why I’ve shared this post as part of my #MentallyWealthy series, as it really embodies the reason for the series. You can find Chloe on Instagram
 

In honour of mental health awareness week, I wanted to write this post to show how I look at mental health from a different view.

I experienced it to varying degrees for a number of years so it’s taken me a while to get to this point but I want people to know that being diagnosed and being given those labels like depression and anxiety by a doctor don’t have to be the end. They can help explain the situation but they should never define you.

Rather than explaining all the hardships and suffering associated from having a mental illness, I now reflect on it and say thank you for all the challenges that it brought me and all that it’s taught me. So here’s my letter to my mental illness, which I’m proud to say is now a memory of the past.

Dear depression,

Thank you for everything, for it has lead me here today.

Thank you for all the days you made it hard to leave the house because every time I did, it proved to me I could overcome fear and prove something wrong. Every day I turned up to school or work, taught me a little more that no matter what, I can always show up.

Thank you for all the times you made me doubt my worth because it has made me realise it, build it and know that I am just as worthy as anyone else.

Thank you for all the times you made me cry through sadness, doubt and guilt because you took all those tears away and got all the sore, red, puffy eyes out the way and left me with fresh, if slightly baggy, morning eyes now and just tears of happiness.

Thank you for all the sleepless nights because now I take comfort and am grateful for all the nights I fall asleep easily and rest peacefully until the morning, even if I do have to get up for a wee…

Thank you for all the times you shamed my body and looked at it with disgust and hatred because you did that when it was different shapes and taught me that I have to love and embrace it all through the journey of it changing. I know now to focus on what I love and look to improve, rather than just crying and bring my reflection.

Thank for the times you teamed up with anxiety to make me nervous in social situations, making my heart race and encouraging me to hide because every time I stayed out, I won a little more and now I feel grateful to be excited to go out and even encourage social occasions.

Thank you for all the challenges you gave me because every one made me a little stronger and made other challenges in this life come a little easier.

Thank you for making me conform to other people’s ideals because now I feel so free to finally be able to be myself rather than being a chameleon to every situation, just wanting to blend in.

Thank you for teaching me that a doctors diagnosis doesn’t have to be forever, and I don’t have to wear or be defined by any label.

Thank you for sticking around for so long because you taught me never to give up and good things really to take time; that there is no quick fix to solve a big problem and with dedication and love I can do great things.

Thank you for all the problems you posed me with, because it gave me perspective and made a lot of things seem so small.

Thank you for the times you broke me right down to rock bottom. From there you left me lying on my back, so the only way I could look was up and realise that was the only direction for me to head in.

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So thank you for all you gave me, because it got me where I am today!

I love this post, so thank you so much to Chloe for sending it in!

If you’d like to get in touch to write for this series please email florabeverley@gmail.com. Please hashtag #MentallyWealthy in any Instagram/twitter posts and spread the word!

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